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I need to FORGIVE him.
How can a word that can bring such enlightenment be so heavy
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I came to the realization this year that when I share my story, I have been putting blame on one specific individual over & over. I honestly never realized he was the one that I need to forgive in order to continue healing.⠀
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I’ve dealt with the pain & hurt of my past but every time I get to one part my throat fills up with a giant lump as though to try & swallow the anger. I can feel my eyes fill up but I don’t allow myself to blink & let the tears fall. I feel these emotions because this is where I still need to forgive. ⠀
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I know most of you are thinking I am talking about the person who took my parents away from us. It’s not though. I forgave him long ago. At a young age I decided it was never going to be about him & neither is this. ⠀
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And so I have decided today is the day I start the path of forgiveness towards that one certain individual I lay blame on. ⠀
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He made a commitment. He took an oath. He was suppose to serve & protect. His phone rang at midnight. He was told the danger that 3 children & 2 adults were in. He made a choice & went back to sleep. Not only did he go back to sleep but he stayed asleep for 3 long hours. ⠀
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This is where I am stuck. This is where my journey to forgive him starts. Does he even know the repercussions of his actions? Does he know or care that I am feeling this way? Would it make a difference telling him that I’ve blamed him the most? Why was he never reprimanded for his actions? Does he know while he was fast asleep, I hid in fear? ⠀
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I have a million questions. But, would any of the answers he gave me make a difference? No. ⠀
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Would they make me feel better? No. ⠀
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Is the energy I am putting into this anger doing me any good? No.⠀
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This path of forgiveness will be the hardest thing I have ever done. Because of that I know it will also bring with it the deepest level of healing. This is where darkness still sits. With profound clarity I see that this is where I give permission & call for the light to come in. ⠀
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I begin this part of my healing journey today.
I need to FORGIVE him. How can a word that can bring such enlightenment be so heavy ⠀ ⠀ I came to the realization this year that when I share my story, I have been putting blame on one specific individual over & over. I honestly never realized he was the one that I need to forgive in order to continue healing.⠀ ⠀ I’ve dealt with the pain & hurt of my past but every time I get to one part my throat fills up with a giant lump as though to try & swallow the anger. I can feel my eyes fill up but I don’t allow myself to blink & let the tears fall. I feel these emotions because this is where I still need to forgive. ⠀ ⠀ I know most of you are thinking I am talking about the person who took my parents away from us. It’s not though. I forgave him long ago. At a young age I decided it was never going to be about him & neither is this. ⠀ ⠀ And so I have decided today is the day I start the path of forgiveness towards that one certain individual I lay blame on. ⠀ ⠀ He made a commitment. He took an oath. He was suppose to serve & protect. His phone rang at midnight. He was told the danger that 3 children & 2 adults were in. He made a choice & went back to sleep. Not only did he go back to sleep but he stayed asleep for 3 long hours. ⠀ ⠀ This is where I am stuck. This is where my journey to forgive him starts. Does he even know the repercussions of his actions? Does he know or care that I am feeling this way? Would it make a difference telling him that I’ve blamed him the most? Why was he never reprimanded for his actions? Does he know while he was fast asleep, I hid in fear? ⠀ ⠀ I have a million questions. But, would any of the answers he gave me make a difference? No. ⠀ ⠀ Would they make me feel better? No. ⠀ ⠀ Is the energy I am putting into this anger doing me any good? No.⠀ ⠀ This path of forgiveness will be the hardest thing I have ever done. Because of that I know it will also bring with it the deepest level of healing. This is where darkness still sits. With profound clarity I see that this is where I give permission & call for the light to come in. ⠀ ⠀ I begin this part of my healing journey today.
Shelf care for thought ⠀
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For those of you who haven’t met him, meet Fitz. He’s my baby fiddle leaf fig. Watching him grow & stand tall brings me joy. ⠀
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That beauty of a canister to the left of Fitz was a vintage find from my fav vintage curator @wildmintvintage . I store all my smudging needs in that brass vintage beauty. My sage, lemongrass & palo santo all sit comfortably nestled in there. ⠀
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I obviously have every oil out there, however these 3 babies bring me the most joy, quite literally actually. I’ve shared with you before how Balance & Bergamot relieve my anxious feelings, helps clear my mind of self doubt & grounds and centres me. I haven’t shared with most of you how much Melissa has helped me. Yes she’s valuable but here’s the thing...she’s valuable in more than just her monetary value. She has worked wonders for me in more ways than I can explain. Melissa essential oil has helped me release emotions. Emotions I never even knew I had sitting inside of me. And here’s the things, by releasing those old unwanted energies I was able to make room for more light. That’s why Melissa is known for the oil of light. How much value would you put on bringing more light into your life? She’s worth it✨⠀
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The vibrations that come from my singing bowl that was gifted to me by my then 8 year old daughter, sings to me and literally shakes my core into alignment.⠀
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“The light maker”, my citrine stone, brings on all the light & energy needed. Those closest to me know how much I dig the power of manifesting & this stone amplifies those manifesting intentions.⠀
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What’s on your shelf care? What are some of the things that aid in bringing light & joy into you as a person.
Shelf care for thought ⠀ ⠀ For those of you who haven’t met him, meet Fitz. He’s my baby fiddle leaf fig. Watching him grow & stand tall brings me joy. ⠀ ⠀ That beauty of a canister to the left of Fitz was a vintage find from my fav vintage curator @wildmintvintage . I store all my smudging needs in that brass vintage beauty. My sage, lemongrass & palo santo all sit comfortably nestled in there. ⠀ ⠀ I obviously have every oil out there, however these 3 babies bring me the most joy, quite literally actually. I’ve shared with you before how Balance & Bergamot relieve my anxious feelings, helps clear my mind of self doubt & grounds and centres me. I haven’t shared with most of you how much Melissa has helped me. Yes she’s valuable but here’s the thing...she’s valuable in more than just her monetary value. She has worked wonders for me in more ways than I can explain. Melissa essential oil has helped me release emotions. Emotions I never even knew I had sitting inside of me. And here’s the things, by releasing those old unwanted energies I was able to make room for more light. That’s why Melissa is known for the oil of light. How much value would you put on bringing more light into your life? She’s worth it✨⠀ ⠀ The vibrations that come from my singing bowl that was gifted to me by my then 8 year old daughter, sings to me and literally shakes my core into alignment.⠀ ⠀ “The light maker”, my citrine stone, brings on all the light & energy needed. Those closest to me know how much I dig the power of manifesting & this stone amplifies those manifesting intentions.⠀ ⠀ What’s on your shelf care? What are some of the things that aid in bringing light & joy into you as a person.
Dance competition survival kit⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It takes a lot of planning when it comes to the comps that us dance families do.⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’ve created this easy guide list to show you how we do dance competition⠀⠀⠀
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• Deep blue rub & frankincense to rub on sore dance legs, feet & arms⠀⠀⠀
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• Calm oils for sleep & nerves for both the dancer & mama (Top left corner Balance, Vetiver & peace, premake a calming roller & bring these oils along to diffuse at away comps. Don’t forget to pack your diffuser! be sure to pack your Onguard EO to cleanse the hotel rooms of germs) ⠀⠀⠀⠀
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• EO Shoe spray to keep those dance shoes smelling fresh⠀⠀⠀
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• Balance natural deodorant. We aren’t there yet but this deodorant is a great natural substitute for the chemical filled one and is wonderful for young dancers to mamas⠀⠀⠀
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• EO Makeup remover pads. I use organic cotton pads in a glass jar and include lavender & tea tree in my recipe⠀⠀⠀
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• Correct X, this baby can help with blisters, cuts, scrapes, hang nails, & so much more⠀⠀⠀
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• Onguard roller bottle, roll this on everyone in the family! This will help keep everyone healthy⠀⠀
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• Intune roller bottle, roll on bottom of dancers feet to help keep dancer grounded & aids in concentration. I find this roller eases my anxiousness significantly⠀⠀⠀
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• Lip balm, for obvious reasons⠀
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• Onguard hand sanitizer. Use as a hand sanitizer & a on the go surface cleanser⠀⠀⠀⠀
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• Zengest roller, for upset & nervous tummies⠀⠀⠀
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• Breathe stick, apply before a dance number on the chest & at bedtime for a better sleep⠀⠀⠀
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• Lemon eo, great oil to remove scruffs on shoes, remove sticky residue & use as a natural nail polish remover⠀⠀⠀
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• Spot remover roller bottle, just incase there are any unforeseen spills⠀⠀⠀
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• Natural DIY make up setting spray⠀
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•Hydrating Body Mist, use to moisturize legs & arms⠀⠀⠀
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• Peppermint eo, use for headaches, breath freshener, to cool & to energize⠀⠀⠀
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• Epsom salts infused with essential oils. After a long weekend of dancing every dancer should end the weekend with a soak in the tub infused with Epsom salts & eo’s
Dance competition survival kit⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ It takes a lot of planning when it comes to the comps that us dance families do.⠀⠀⠀⠀ I’ve created this easy guide list to show you how we do dance competition⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ • Deep blue rub & frankincense to rub on sore dance legs, feet & arms⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ • Calm oils for sleep & nerves for both the dancer & mama (Top left corner Balance, Vetiver & peace, premake a calming roller & bring these oils along to diffuse at away comps. Don’t forget to pack your diffuser! be sure to pack your Onguard EO to cleanse the hotel rooms of germs) ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ • EO Shoe spray to keep those dance shoes smelling fresh⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ • Balance natural deodorant. We aren’t there yet but this deodorant is a great natural substitute for the chemical filled one and is wonderful for young dancers to mamas⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ • EO Makeup remover pads. I use organic cotton pads in a glass jar and include lavender & tea tree in my recipe⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ • Correct X, this baby can help with blisters, cuts, scrapes, hang nails, & so much more⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ • Onguard roller bottle, roll this on everyone in the family! This will help keep everyone healthy⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ • Intune roller bottle, roll on bottom of dancers feet to help keep dancer grounded & aids in concentration. I find this roller eases my anxiousness significantly⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ • Lip balm, for obvious reasons⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ • Onguard hand sanitizer. Use as a hand sanitizer & a on the go surface cleanser⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ • Zengest roller, for upset & nervous tummies⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ • Breathe stick, apply before a dance number on the chest & at bedtime for a better sleep⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ • Lemon eo, great oil to remove scruffs on shoes, remove sticky residue & use as a natural nail polish remover⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ • Spot remover roller bottle, just incase there are any unforeseen spills⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ • Natural DIY make up setting spray⠀ ⠀ •Hydrating Body Mist, use to moisturize legs & arms⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ • Peppermint eo, use for headaches, breath freshener, to cool & to energize⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ • Epsom salts infused with essential oils. After a long weekend of dancing every dancer should end the weekend with a soak in the tub infused with Epsom salts & eo’s